My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize