dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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