problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
