i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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