Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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