I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
