dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
