so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
