We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize