SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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