and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
