and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
