Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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