I have demons in me.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Two words: blizzard sex
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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