Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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