He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I touched a dick in church today
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize