Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
