i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
operation have a gay friend backfired
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
