do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
