I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
