Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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