i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
