i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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