I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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