I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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