You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It's just like the Real World with babies
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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