Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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