you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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