is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
