your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I want to make a zoo with you.
Just cropdusted the office
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
