Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
im about as happy as oj after his trial
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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