Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
