I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize