I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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