No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
