so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
its liver damage thursday
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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