I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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