I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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