you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
