I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
