Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
