Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize