a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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