Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
