i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize