Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
there is puke in my bra ... again
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