My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
