By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
