Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
