Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
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While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
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You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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