quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
