he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
