How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
