im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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