Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
