He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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