Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
