theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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