I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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