My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
