he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize