My room smells like vodka and shame
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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