No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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