I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
